Inside the Pensieve
by Mikill
Summary: In Harry's fifth year he watched Snape's worst memory in Dumbledore's Pensieve. What if Snape decided to get back at the boy who lived by watching Harry's memories in the Pensieve? And how would what he sees in it change the course of things?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter stories. I do not make any money off of this.

Spoiler alert: If you haven't read all the books yet you might want to do that before you read this story.

This is my first HP fanfic. I am not a native so I'm sorry if my English sounds a bit weird sometimes. Read, enjoy and review :)

„Having fun?"

Harry felt himself rising into the air. He was floating upward through icy blackness, Snape's hand tight upon his upper arm, closed with a pincerlike grip. Then, with a swooping feeling as though he had turned head over heels midair, his feet hit the stone floor of Snape's dungeon, and he was standing again besides the Pensieve on Snape's desk in the shadowy, present-day Potions master's study.

"So", said Snape, gripping Harry's arm so tightly Harry's hand was starting to feel numb. "So… been enjoying yourself, Potter?"

"N-no…" said Harry, trying to free his arm.

It was scary: Snape's lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared.

"Amusing man, your father, wasn't he?" said Snape, shaking Harry so hard that his glasses slipped down his nose.

"I – didn't – "

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.

"You will not tell anybody what you saw!" Snape bellowed.

"No," said Harry, getting to his feet as far from Snape as he could.

"No, of course I w –"

"Get out, get out, I don't want to see you in this office ever again!"

And as Harry hurtled toward the door, a jar of dead cockroaches exploded over his head.

Professor Severus Snape was furious. Stupid Potter just had to look into the bloody Pensieve, didn't he? Probably got a kick out of it, seeing his arrogant father torturing him.

„Stupid… Arrogant… Attention seeking… Lazy… Swine… Just like his father…" he murmured running up and down in his office, trying to contain his furry. He got hummiliated and he felt shame and grief and most of all anger at the boy who lived.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Why did things like this always happen to him? The universe didn't just want him not to be happy, no it wanted him to be as miserable as possible. Anger welled up inside of him again.

But when he opened his eyes again, he saw something in the Pensieve. Lights danced on the wall and the silver-white contents were swirling and ebbing within it. The memories seemed to be lively and strong but they weren't the professor's. Curiosity welling inside of him he made a step towards the Pensieve and gazed at it. He was still furious but also curious so he made another step in the direction of it. He took his wand out and gave the sivlery stuff a small prod with the end of it. The contents started to swirl faster and then became transparent. Severus found himself looking down upon the sleeping form of one Harry Potter. Presented with the same situation as the Potter boy mere ten minutes ago a smile crossed his face, or rather an evil grin. This was the perfect opportunity to get back at the spoiled brat. He plunged his face into the thoughts of one 10-year old Harry Potter.

After the feeling of falling and the spinning had stopped he realized he was standing in front of a cupboard. At first Severus didn't know what to make of this but then he heard an all to familiar voice screeching "Up! Get up! Now!" and he imidiatley knew who it belonged to.

Snape frowned. He knew Potter had been raised by relatives but he had never thought it would be this particular relative.

He looked around for a while. There were no pictures of Potter or his parents anywhere in the house. He snorted. Maybe the muggles had noticed how vain the brat was and removed any pictures of him.

He saw Petunia Dursely rapping on the door of the cupboard. She screeched "Up!" once more and made her way into another room. Severus did not understand why this nightmare of a woman was shouting at a cupboard until she came back into the room and asked "Are you up yet?". "Nearly." Answered a sleepy Harry Potter from inside the cupboard.

He lived in a cupboard? He always figuered the boy who lived was showered with love and given everything. But on the other hand he was living with Petunia and he remembered her very well. He wondered if Dumbledore knew about the boy's living arrangements.

He listened as Lily's sister ordered him around and then he saw how he came out of the cupboard wearing old clothes that were way too big for the skinny little boy.

The boy must have been thinking about his parents because the scene switched and he saw an even younger version of Potter asking his aunt about his scar.

"In the car crash when your parents died. And don't ask questions." Petunia told the little boy.

"In a car crash?! Lily did not die in a car crash!" Snape gasped. How could they? Could it really be that he had no idea who he was or who his parents were? How could the whole world know about this except for the one person it affected the most?

The scene went back to the one before.

He watched as the fat boy got his presents. As much of a dunderhead the Potter boy was at least he could add two to thirty-seven. It pained him to watch and he was happy when the scene soon switched to the zoo and into the reptile house. He watched the incident with the glass and the snake and how Mr. Dursley punished Harry afterwards. He smirked but there was the faintest expression of worry hidden deep in his eyes.

Then after the scene had switched once more he saw how they reacted to the letters. Petunia must have known about the letter but obviously it only gave her more reason to hate and disregard the boy.

He frowned. The spoiled brat image he had in his mind didn't seem to fit anymore. Once again he asked himself: Had Dumbledore known about this? And if he had – how could he leave Lily's child in a family like this? It pained him to think about how Lily would have reacted if she had known.

The memory switched again and he saw one after another how the boy was treated by his relatives, in school by Draco and the other students and by himself.

He shuddered and got paler and paler with every scene. Not only was the boy not the attention seeking brat he thought he was but he was being abused at home and bullied in school. He saw more and more of himself in the boy. They both were treated badly at home by their families and they both were bullied at school.

He saw the incident with the rememberall and how oftentimes he protected and helped his friends. Now not even the assumption that the boy was arrogant and attention seeking seemed to work anymore.

He thought about all the times Dumbledore and Minerva had told him that he only saw what he wanted to see. The realization struck him hard. They might have been right.

But not only that: He treated the boy like James had treated him. He had become a bully himself and the boy had done nothing to deserve this punishment.

After a few more scenes he realized more and more how much like Lily he was. His anger had faded and instead there was now pain and grief.

He saw the boy look into the mirror of Erised and realized that he almost saw the same in it. He saw him face the dark lord time and time again. He saw the attack of the Dementors and the trial in the Ministry of Magic. And he saw him suffer quietly through the detentions with Umbridge. He saw the most important moments, the strongest memories and emotions, good and bad, the boy had from his first year at Hogwarts right up to the moment he had confronted him looking at Dumbledore's Pensieve.

Severus Snape came out of the Pensieve. Potter had been telling the truth. He honestly didn't find his father's actions amusing. He might have been too quick to judge the boy.

His anger was now gone. A tear was rolling down his cheek. "I am sorry Lily. I failed you. Again."

A few minutes he struggled with himself.

Then he decided that he would have to have a word with Draco. And with Harry. It was too late to change the past. But he could still do something about the future.

A.N.: I read quite a few reading the books fics lately. Sadly they usually start with book one and are abandond before it gets interesting. Well, while reading them I came up with this and just had to write it down. If Snape treated Harry different from this point onward and continued to teach him, who knows what might happen. Maybe Sirius and many others wouldn't have died. Actually I'd love to continue this and develop it into a longer story but I'll study abroad the next two semesters and really wont have any time for this. So if you would like to continue this feel free to do so.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry was happy when Hermione finally stopped nagging him about his Occlumency lessons and Ron started renting on about Marietta Edgecombe. It gave him the chance to think about what had happened earlier, what he had seen in the Pensieve. He felt as though the memory was eating him from inside. He had been so sure that his parents had been wonderful people that he never had the slightest difficulty in disbelieving Snape's aspersions on his father's character. So many people had told him how great his father was and how much they were alike. He felt disgusted and disappointed and… defeated. Snape had been right. His father was an arrogant horrible person. A bully. And even worse Sirius and Remus were the same. Harry felt lost. He had lost faith in the people that meant most to him. At least Lily had intervened, his mother had been decent Harry reminded himself. But the look she had on her face was disturbing. How could Lily and James ever get together? Once or twice he even wondered whether James had forced her into it…

He felt tired and miserable. He had lost his source of comfort and inspiration. He had to talk to Sirius.

Harry could hardly sleep and awoke early the next day, feeling anxious. It was not only the prospect of breaking into Umbridge's office and using her fire to speak to Sirius that was making him feel nervous, though that was certainly bad enough – today also happened to be the first time he would be in close proximity with Snape since Snape had thrown him out of his office, as they had Potions that day.

Snape seemed to have decided to act as though Harry were invisible. Harry was, of course, used to this tactic, as it was one of Uncle Vernon's favorites, and on the whole was grateful he had to suffer nothing worse. In fact, compared to what he usually had to endure from Snape in the way of taunts and snide remarks, he found the new approach something of an improvement and was pleased to find that when left well alone, he was able to concoct an Invigoration Draught quite easily. At the end of the lesson he scooped some of the potion into a flask, corked it, and took it up to Snape's desk for marking. He had just turned away when he heard a silent "Come to my office tonight, Mr. Potter!" from behind him.

So it wasn't over he thought. He gulped but nodded and left the classroom. Panic was welling up inside of him. Was Snape going to kill him? It seemed like a reasonable possibility and Harry had to admit that he would feel the same way if someone had watched his worst memories.

Snape had treated him horribly since he came to Hogwarts and Harry hated that old git. He thought he was more of a spy for Voldemort that he was for Dumbledore and he had called his mother a mudblood. Still, he couldn't bring himself to hate him right now. Not when the picture of the younger Snape being tortured and humiliated in front of his peers for no reason was still so fresh in his memories. He pitied him and he felt ashamed for intruding his privacy like that. He was scared of what Snape might do to him but he felt like he deserved some kind of punishment.

The career counseling with Professor McGonagall distracted him for a while but when it was time to speak with Sirius the memories came floating back and he felt horrible once more.

The conversation with him and Lupin didn't go so well. They had no excuse for treating Snape the way they had. Harry wasn't angry with them but he was still disappointed.

After Fred and George's flight to freedom he felt a little bit better and strong enough to actually knock at Snape's door and face his punishment.

"Enter." Came Snape's voice from the other side of the door and reluctantly Harry obeyed. His stomach cringed and he breathed heavily.

The classroom was empty besides Snape and Harry could feel the potion's master looking at him but he couldn't bring himself to look into the man's direction. He felt tired, miserable and guilty. And he was scared. He was contemplating apologizing again and maybe even ask for continuing their Occlumency lessons like Lupin and Sirius wanted him to, when Snape spoke up.

"I feel I have to apologize, Mister Potter. I might have overreacted the other day. We will continue our Occlumency lessons as planned."

Harry's jaw dropped. Had he been looking at the professor he would have seen him struggle through his apology. He couldn't believe it. After the look Snape had on his face after the incident with the Pensieve Harry was sure the man would kill him. Not only did Snape not kill him, no he even apologized to him!

Snape turned around. Obviously the conversation was over. Well at least for _him_ it was; Harry felt he needed to say something.

"Sir?"

"Yes?" Snape frowned.

He didn't turn around. He had a feeling that he wouldn't get out of this that easily. Maybe apologizing had been a mistake but he felt he had to after what he had seen in the Pensieve. Maybe not for his treatment of Harry the day before; he felt it had been appropriate. But for everything that had happened since the boy had come to school. For him not being there for Lily Evan's son. For failing Lily again. For letting her get killed.

Harry didn't know any of this. And Snape was glad he didn't. He wouldn't be able to recover if anyone knew.

"You don't have to apologize sir. I shouldn't have done what I did and I'm sorry. I don't find it amusing and I didn't tell anyone about it. You were right all along. My father was a horrible man…" Harry whispered.

Snape turned around to look at the boy. He had finally been able to destroy the idealized perfect picture Potter… Harry had of his father. Although he was looking forward to this moment since the day he first saw the image of James Potter at the first day of school. But now that he knew and didn't see James in the boy anymore… it didn't feel right. The boy had nothing and now he had taken this away from him too. He saw how tired and miserable the boy looked. Lily would kill him if she knew.

But how should he talk to the boy? He hated him for more than four years and only recently had he painfully realized his mistake. It was hard enough to speak to the boy without any venom in his voice.

"Harry," Potter flinched at the professor's use of his first name, "do not let what you saw destroy your belief in your father. We both know how I feel about him, but he did fight against the Dark Lord and died protecting you and your mother."

Harry gasped. This day was full of surprises. First the person who probably hated him most apologized, then he used his first name and now he is even defending the actions of his father, the only person the professor seemed to hate more than him. And surprisingly these few words made him feel better than the whole speech Remus and Sirius had given him earlier.

"Is there anything else you would like to discuss?" the man asked after studying the flabbergasted teenager for a while.

Harry had so many questions on his mind but he couldn't bring himself to articulate them. Snape had been almost nice to him and had taken much of the pain he felt since the incident from him. They would even resume their Occlumency lessons.

"Ehm… I was wondering… " He tried to phrase one of the questions that were flowing around in his head. But then he shook his head. He didn't want the man to become angry again. "No sir. Good night sir."

"Good night, Mr. Potter." Snape said and Harry left with many questions in his head and something of an smile on his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days have passed since a devastated Harry Potter had floo called Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Remus was intent on keeping his promise to talk Snape into resuming his Occlumency lessons with Harry. So he was sitting in Professor Snape's office, waiting for him to return from one of his lessons.

When Severus came to his office he noticed the presence of the werewolf immediately. Outwardly he appeared calm but inwardly he was fuming. He had accepted or rather tolerated the wolf when he had been a teacher at school, not that he had a choice back then, but not even then would he have ever invited the wolf into his quarters.

"Good morning Severus." Remus greeted him and waited patiently for him to answer.

He never understood how Dumbledore could allow a werewolf near the students. Not now and not back in his own school days. With a sour expression on his face he remembered how he had found out about it, about him. And after all that Dumbledore took it for granted that he would keep quiet and provide the canine with Wofsbane potion, a very complicated potion that would allow Lupin to control himself during full moon. Lupin had never been good with potions but why he never learned how to produce that particular potion was beyond him.

Many bad memories came back to haunt him whenever the wolf was around. Pain, humiliation and most of all anger kept welling up inside of him. But he took a few deep breaths. Lashing out at people out of shame and hurt had cost him his friendship with Lily. He still loathed Lupin and even more so Black, although he could not blame him for the death of Lily anymore. Black had been telling the truth all along and Severus had seen Pettigrew with his own eyes the night that the Dark Lord had returned. He wanted to kill the rat but his position as a spy was more important and he hoped that in the end he would get his chance at revenge.

Severus took a deep calming breath, schooling his face back to its usual inscrutable neutrality. It was rare he allowed emotion to run away with him - he did not enjoy the lack of control. That just emphasized how mad he really was when he found the Gryffindor gloden boy in the Pensieve. But he'd be calm now.

"Severus, please," said Lupin, his voice was heavy and serious. He assumed that the potions master wouldn't talk to him willingly so he decided to just make the first step and begin.

"You must continue teaching Harry Occlumency. Harry didn't mean to violate your privacy. He most certainly didn't know it contained your personal memories. It was very wrong of course, but he saw his parents, alive. He has no real memories of his own to cling to so he couldn't resist."

So that's why the wolf was in his quarters. The brat had told him what happened. He felt rage welling up inside of him again. The Gryffindor golden boy had obviously lied to him when he said he hadn't told anyone but that was to be expected.

"He couldn't resist?" Snape spat. "I am sure he and his friends had a lot of fun at my expense. You must feel so proud knowing that Potter follows in your footsteps."

Lupin flinched and shook his head. "Harry didn't tell us to make fun of you, no, he was furious with us… and disappointed." He looked to the ground. "He was even wondering if James had forced Lily into marriage after he had seen how they had acted towards each other." He chuckled at the end considering how ridiculous this thought was.

Snape had asked himself the exact same question time and time again. He once hurt Lily and she never forgave him but she fell in love with the biggest bully the school had ever seen.

He also had anticipated his memories to be public knowledge the day after the incident but obviously the boy hadn't told any of his friends what had happened. That was more than he could have hoped for although he wished he hadn't told the beast before him either.

Hearing how disappointed the boy had been with the Marauders left Severus feeling… strangely satisfied. It was a petty thought and he scolded himself for it. He had sworn to protect Lily's son and convincing him that his father was a despicable man certainly didn't align with what Lily would want. Also he had already forgiven Harry after what he had seen in the Pensieve and agreed to continue the Occlumency lessons but apparently the man in front of him wasn't aware of that.

"What did you tell him?" Snape asked after a while.

"I beg your pardon."

"What did you tell Potter? How did you justify tormenting me without a reason? How did you justify hexing me behind my back, humiliating me in front of the whole school, attacking me while I was wandless? How did you explain four boys against one? It would be interesting to know. I'd like to know." Snape sneered although Lupin felt the hurt that was there.

He had never given it much thought, to be honest. He only started to feel sorry for Snape when Harry had presented his point of view. With a pained expression on his face he remembered how they tried to make it sound like it wasn't so bad and somehow blame it on Snape when Harry had asked them. Talking to Snape now he realized that it indeed was _that_ bad and he felt remorse.

"It wasn't _four_ against one." He said after a while not answering Snape's question.

Snape just kept staring at him.

"Please, Severus, we were only children…" pleaded Lupin.

"Do you think that made it any less humiliating?" Snape spat. "Every year of my school life, day in and out, in front of as many people as possible, making my school life just as much a hell as my home life, taking the only friend I ever had away from me,…" Snape didn't realize what he was saying until it was too late.

Snape had been relieved when he found out that Harry only saw what he saw in the Pensieve and not him begging for forgiveness, him turning to the dark side and betraying and killing the only real friend he ever had. And now he made a mistake and almost told his childhood rival everything. Some spy he was.

Severus poured himself a glass of firewhisky.

Lupin was stunned by Snape's outburst, if you could call it that. He had been void of any emotion as always and hadn't raised his voice but still... It didn't make sense before, but the pieces started to fall together now. Lily. He had almost forgotten they used to be friends. And he never thought about Snape's home life but looking back he remembered him being way to small and skinny for his age and wearing clothes that didn't fit him at all.

The realization hurt. Now he understood better than ever how they had affected the broken man in front of him. And he very well understood the feeling of being alone and an outcast and the bitterness that went with these feelings. He could relate. And for Snape it wasn't just a childhood rivalry he couldn't let go. It was more, they had taken everything from him and made sure that there was no way the boy could possibly be happy.

He wondered maybe if they had treated him differently he wouldn't have become a follower of Voldemort. It was Severus' choice, of course, and it was a very wrong one at that, but for the first time in his life Remus Lupin wondered if the Marauders were for some extent to blame for Snape's decision.

He winced and looked truthfully ashamed when he said "I'm sorry Severus, I am truly sorry. I am sorry for everything we have done to you, for any hurt I have ever caused you. James and Sirius went too far and although I saw it I did nothing to stop it. I was too insecure and scared, no terrified, I would lose the only friends I had. I was too weak and I am sorry."

Snape never knew how much he needed to hear an apology like this until that very moment. It felt good and surprisingly took some of the pain away. James and Sirius he would never be able to forgive but maybe he and the wolf could establish some sort of amity after all.

"I know you despise me as a werewolf…" Lupin continued but was interrupted by Snape laughing.

"I assure you I despise you but most certainly not because you are a werewolf."

Remus smiled a sad smile. He never thought the person in front of him could ever look past the fact that he was this monster once a month. Apparently he could. It worried him though that the man did not hate him because of any prejudices he had but because of the very human being that he was. Snape had shared some of his thoughts with him, slip of the tongue or not, and Remus was intent on sharing some of his past too. If he couldn't make amends now he would probably never be able to.

"Very well. I've been attacked by a werewolf shortly before my fifth birthday and I had to live with this nightmare ever since. I was not allowed to play with other children, in case they would find out about my condition. Although I had loving parents I was a very lonely boy. My parents moved whenever someone came close to the truth. My father taught me at home. Then Dumbledore found out about me and my excitement was beyond anything I had experienced before. A dream came true when he accepted me to Hogwarts. I soon became friends with James, Sirius and Peter. I was so happy, I loved them and was grateful for their acceptance. I did not approve of their treatment of you but out of fear of losing them as friends I did not always stand up to them as much as I know I should have.

I had already accepted that I would never find love, marry or have children but at least I had friends who accepted me the way I was. Then, after school, I lost all of my friends within one day. I have been devasted, unhappy and lonely ever since. I never found a job I could keep for a longer period of time and struggled with money.

My condition keeps me from having a normal life, a job, friends, a family, love. And that fateful night I lost, or thought I had lost, 5 of my friends, my only friends. I am shunned by society and my life will be a short and lonely one." He sighed, indicating that he didn't believe he would survive the second war.

A while they were both silent.

"Why are you telling me this?" Snape asked with a frown but his voice had lost its edge.

"To show you that I understand at least some of your pain."

They were quiet for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

Then Snape began to talk again and later he was sure he only did because of the firewhisky he had almost emptied during their conversation. That and because he felt tired, drained. He was sick of all the mistrust and the loneliness and the anger.

"My home life wasn't pretty. My father hated me, mostly because I was magical and he was a muggle. Hogwarts was a chance to escape this life but thanks to you and your friends it was almost worse than at home." Snape said bitterly.

Remus gulped.

"I had only one friend..." He hesitated. He wasn't sure if he should tell the man before him. "Lily... But I pushed her away when she was protecting me. I was humiliated, and ashamed and I just leashed out at her. I regreted it every day... He apologized and asked her for forgiveness but she didn't talk to me again.

I was lonely and I had no one. The Death Eaters exepted me when no one else did and the Dark Lord promised power and revenge… and a sense of belonging. Too late I realized what a mistake I had made. I learnt to occlude my mind and became a spy for the Light. I have been ever since. But apperently no one believes that." He snarled.

Remus sighed. The man in front of him had had a horrible youth and even now he couldn't find happiness or friends or even people that trusted him. At the moment he wasn't even sure anymore who of them had the worse life.

"I'm sorry." He didn't know what else he could possibly say to the man.

"Maybe things will look up after war for you." He suggested.

Snape laughed. "I think, not unlike you, that it is unlikely I will survive the war, so naturally I haven't considerd a future beyond." He then said without any emotion.

With distrust on both sides it was unlikely any outcome would benefit his survival.

Finally Lupin understood.

"Well maybe we will both survive." he offered half-heartedly.

"Maybe." Severus muttered.

Again silence.

"It was wrong of me to demand from you to keep teaching Harry. It is your decision. Although I still believe it is important that he learns. It is, after all, not only his life at stake. But maybe Dumbledore can teach him. Though it might make our side trust you a little bit more if you do it."

"I will." Snape said softly.

Remus looked puzzled for a moment but then settled for a smile. "What changed your mind?"

"Let's just say I realized he has less in common with James than I previously thought."

"He is a lot like Lily, isn't he?"

Snape winced but after a while he nodded. "Yes he is." He said and walked across the room to his desk where he opened a drawer.

"I'll be leaving now." Remus said.

"Goodbye." Severus said and reached out his hand, offering a little flask of Wolfsbane to Remus. It was the one Remus had forgotten to take when Sirius had entered Hogwarts.

"Goodbye Severus. And thank you." Remus said, taking the flask out of his hand and shaking it.

They were far from being friends but they had reached some common ground and mutual understanding. They were both imprisoned in their own ways. But now there was hope.


	4. Chapter 4

I actually just wanted this story to be a one-shot and no multi-chapter, but so many people liking my story and so many ideas in my head made me continue it anyways. Again I'm not a native and this is my first HP fanfiction. I have a vague idea where I'm going with this but am still open to suggestions. I try to stay true to the books and update regularly. Please read, enjoy and review.

...

Snape paced through his office as he often did when something was bothering him.

The last days had been… unexpected. The things he had learned about Potter had changed his way of thinking about the boy. It was a hard and painful realization but once he had made it there was no turning back and he saw more and more of his Lily in him each day. Sometimes the anger and bitterness still welled up and he tried to convince himself that he had been right all along but couldn't really convince himself of that. Mostly he was able to stay neutral. He kept ignoring the boy during classes and in the great hall. He couldn't just suddenly be nice to the boy. After all he had a reputation to uphold – in school and in front of other Death Eaters. Also it wasn't easy to change one's thinking in just a couple of days.

Harry did quite well in potions when left alone, which surprised Snape just as much as Harry. The O.W.L.S. were starting soon but he still demanded Harry to be there tonight for his Occlumency lesson. He decided he would use a different approach this time recalling his previous attempts on teaching the boy. He also remembered him talking about him not explaining how to empty one's mind. And if he was perfectly honest with himself he had to admit that he had not put forward his best foot teaching-wise.

He sighed. He still could remember how Albus had taught him during the first war. But he had been eager to learn, older, knew already a lot about the subject and had a completely different relationship to his teacher.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in Mr. Potter." He said.

Harry entered the classroom. He looked stressed and frustrated but less frightened than usual. He was still a bit suspicious of him but the potion master could not blame the boy for that after how he had treated him during the last years.

"Sit down Mister Potter." He said and the boy did as he was told while regarding him with the same circumspect expression he always used when his professor did not snap at him.

"We will try a new approach today. Close your eyes... Good. Now slowly inhale through your nose… hold your breath and slowly exhale through your mouth. Continue."

Snape let him breathe deeply for a few minutes.

"Now instead of trying to not let me see any of your memories, attempt to only let me see one. Occlumency is, as I have already mentioned, a lot like casting a Patronus charm. Only instead of a happy memory you focus on a neutral one. Continue breathing and imagine you are on a broom flying through the air." He thought with the boy so fond of Quidditsch this might be a good image for the training. It would most certainly keep him calm. Snape took his wand from his desk. "Imagine the wind blowing through your hair… keep the image in your head no matter what… Legilimens!"

This time Professor Snape found himself watching Harry on a broom. Unlike his previous attempts this time his memory was more of a picture than a movie. The scene didn't switch on its own. Snape had to admit that with a useful instruction the boy was doing a decent job.

Severus pushed a little harder. Few times memories flashed before him. Potter getting career advice from McGonagall with Umbridge watching. One of him, Hermione and a giant. Harry looking at a picture from his father with a sorrowful look. He felt like he didn't know his parents at all and like he lost them again. He felt a lump in his throat and an ache of loneliness. He almost started crying.

Snape pulled out of the memory.

He felt sick. He thought seeing and feeling the boy losing faith in his father and his godfather would make him feel good but it didn't. It felt too intimate and like the other day he had to remind himself what Lily would think of this. The boy had almost no one in his life and telling him about his father and godfather would do no one any good. James was dead and all the boy had left of him were the things others told him. But more than that, Snape didn't want to see Potter as a lonely and skinny child, abused by his relatives. He didn't want to see how wrong he had been and how much he had failed Lily.

Harry looked tired and embarrassed.

"Was that a giant?" Snape asked after a while half-heartedly, trying to distract the boy from the last memory.

When Harry didn't answer Snape sighed "Hagrid…" and let it drop. The boy looked grateful though.

"This was already very good Mr. Potter. Try to keep your focus on the broom and when you realize that the scenes change, do not panic. Instead continue to breathe and concentrate on the image. Legilimens!"

Again he saw Harry on his broom. He carefully pushed a little and saw flashes of other memories but before he could make out what they were he found himself looking at the flying boy again. Then Harry opened his eyes, looked at his professor and threw him out of his mind.

"Well done Mr. Potter" Snape found himself praising the boy in front of him and it probably surprised him more than Harry.

First Harry looked confused but then he smiled. With the breathing and the picture it had been so much easier.

They tried it again and this time Harry threw him out even faster than the first time. Snape had not tried as hard as he usually did but he decided to steadily increase the pressure until the boy would be able to keep even the Dark Lord out of his mind.

"Apparently you have more in common with your mother than I previously assumed." Snape muttered silently to himself.

"Is that another insult?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow. He had obviously heard.

Snape shook his head. "Not at all."

Harry looked to the floor and muttered something.

"What was that?" professor Snape asked.

"I was wondering... could you tell me something about my mother, sir?" And he said it with a hopeful yet scared look on his face.

Snape frowned. He did that quite often around the boy he realized. What should he tell him? Should he tell him that they had been friends?

"Your mother, Lily, and I were at Hogwarts at the same time as you already know. We had a few classes together. She was a very bright and gifted witch. She had a talent for potions and charms and even transfiguration. She loved magic. She was so good, the Dark Lord even offered her a place in his ranks although she was no pure-blood... which she of course refused. She survived 3 encounters with him. She was a kind person. She was witty and had a sharp tongue..." Snape was lost in his memories and Harry listened intently.

"Professor?" Harry asked after a while. "You have a lot of nice things to say about her." he said and thought about adding "Especially compared to what you have to say about my father." but in the end he didn't. He now knew why Snape despised his father and he understood and didn't want to talk about it again. He also didn't want to anger his professor, who might be able to tell him more about Lily.

Seeing that his professor wasn't going to say anything to his last statement he continued.

"Many people have told me about my dad but hardly anyone ever talks about my mother."

"Porbably because you were only talking to his friends." He spat the last two words. "Many of your mum's friends have died during the first war and my guess would be that her dear sister Petunia didn't have a lot of nice things to say about her." They both cringed by the mention of Petunia.

"You know aunt Petunia?" Harry asked eventually. "Did you know my mum before Hogwarts?" He hesitated. "Were you friends?"

It would make sense. He had a lot of nice things to say about her and also knew a lot of her background story. And his mother had tried to protect him in the memory he had seen.

Snape struggled for an answer. "...Yes. I lived close to the Evans when I was a kid. I told her she was a witch and we became friends. I also knew her sister. She loathed me but that feeling was mutual. She was jealous of her magic and started calling her a freak."

Snape had trouble talking about this, Harry could sense it.

Harry wanted to know more and most of all why he had called his mother a mudblood if they had been such great friends. But he didn't have to as Snape could guess his questions from the look on his face. Harry could have sworn he saw a flash of pain in the eyes of his professor.

"I think you should leave now Mr. Potter." He said coldly and ended their conversation.

Harry stood up but didn't move.

"Sir?" His potions professor looked troubled and exhausted and a little like he might jump at Harry any second if he provoked him any further.

"I'm sorry sir, I shouldn't have asked so many questions. Thank you for answering them."

Snape frowned and practically shoved Harry out of the door. "We will meet again two days from now. Now that Quidditsch is over you have time for remedial potions two times a week. Practice what we did today every evening before you fall asleep and every morning. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry, good night sir." Harry whispered and left the classroom as fast as he could, scared of his professor.

….

Harry tried to learn for his O.W.L.S. before he went to bed but couldn't concentrate. Not with all the questions Snape had left him with. He had been friends with his mom? How come nobody has ever mentioned this before? Why didn't they stay friends? And why was he suddenly so… not nice but humane to him?

More and more questions formed in his head.

He decided to call it a day and go to bed early. In bed he concentrated on his breathing and the image of him riding a broom. He fell asleep quickly and for the first time in what seemed to him like ages he had a dreamless night.


	5. Chapter 5

I need your help. At the moment I'm not sure if I should keep Sirius alive or not. Same goes for Dumbledore although I feel he should die. His dead was kind of necessary for the plot and Snape and Harry getting to know each other better wouldn't change this independent subplot. I'm trying to keep this as authentic and close to the books as I possibly can. Also I think Snape's getting to nice. Part of what made him such a great spy was that really no one knew his true loyalties besides Dumbledore.

Well… Read, enjoy and review. I don't own anything.

…

The next morning Harry woke up early and was surprised to be well rested. He repeated the breathing exercise and went for breakfast with Hermione and Ron. He enjoyed a Snape free day and learned for his exams. Whenever his thoughts returned to Snape or the Ministry of Magic he thought of his broom and occluded his mind.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity he felt good. He had no nightmares, no headache and his Occlumency and potion skills were finally improving. Maybe his O.W.L.S. would even be good enough to become an Auror after school.

Umbridge hadn't given him any detentions lately and Snape seemed to be in a rather good mood too or rather in a less foul mood than usual. At least he didn't torture him as much as he used to. He still wasn't particularly fond of his professor and quite unsure about where his true loyalties were but he started to understand him a little; although it seemed like this little understanding made him understand the Death Eater even less. It was a bit confusing but at the moment he was feeling good and could finally concentrate on his O.W.L.S.

….

While the young Gryffindor enjoyed his day, an older Slytherin was in the headmaster's office.

"Severus, my dear boy, take a seat. Care for a Lemon drop?"

Snape politely declined.

"Well, well. How are Harry's Occlumency lessons going?"

He sighed. The headmaster knew exactly how they were going. And what they had talked about.

"He's getting better." He finally said and watched the headmaster suspiciously. He knew what the old man was getting at but he wouldn't make it easy for him.

"And you have told him about you and Lily?"

Snape frowned. "Not all of it."

"Why? You were never really fond of the boy. Have you finally seen how much of his mother lives on in him."

He hated to talk about Lily's death. "Maybe I misjudged him. He is most definitely not as horrible as his father used to be."

A few seconds nobody said anything.

"Have you, after all this time, started to care for the boy?" Dumbledore eventually asked.

Severus looked at the headmaster but didn't answer.

"It is nice that you finally see Harry as more than just the son of James, but if you wish to truly protect him, you must once more distance yourself from him." The headmaster said and his usually light voice became heavy and serious.

Severus didn't say anything. There was nothing he could say. The headmaster's words rang true. No one was supposed to know that much about him; at least no one that couldn't at least protect themselves from mind magic and resist torture, like Dumbledore and, to some extent, Lupin. And Potter was most certainly not supposed to trust him.

His role over the last 16 years had been and still was extremely sensitive and required master espionage and image-control skills. As many of his actions, even in the classroom, would be reported on by Death Eater spies or gained through torture and legilimency. Even if Snape's true mentality and intentions were inaccessible to the Dark Lord, he had to consider every decision and relationship carefully. He treated Harry with maximal coldness and never missed an opportunity to cause him trouble, as any variation from this would have cast suspicion on him in Voldemort's eyes.

Admittedly the strong resemblance of his father had made it easy to hate the boy over all these years.

In reality, of course, he had protected Harry on numerous occasions. In a way neither side would notice.

Still he had let his guard down twice and now Lupin and Harry knew things they shouldn't have known. With his connection to the Dark Lord Harry was a liability. If the Dark Lord saw the conversations they had…

Severus was not a good man. He never claimed to be one. And he didn't enjoy company much. He mostly kept to himself and didn't mind. But some days he just felt tired, exhausted and – although he would never admit it – lonely. No one really trusted him and he was sure he would not survive the war. But it didn't bother him much because if the Dark Lord was defeated he had nothing left to live for. He had made many mistakes that were still haunting him to this very day and oftentimes kept him awake at night. And he had no one he could talk to besides Dumbledore.

Snape trusted him and would do everything for the old man but Dumbledore had his own ways of keeping people at a distance. The order members and the students, especially Potter, trusted him with their lives but no one was particularly close to the old man. He knew everything that was going on but didn't tell others much.

They were in some respects very much alike. Hardly anyone knew anything about them.

Snape had to admit that it had felt good to finally tell someone about his misery and have a conversation in which he wasn't suspected of being a spy for the other side or insulted. It felt great to have someone, just for a short time, that didn't think he was a despicable human being that deserved to suffer or die. And the boy had given him, when he had apologized, the feeling, if only for a second, that someone in this world cared for him and his well being.

But that wasn't his job, it wasn't who Professor Severus Snape was. He was just supposed to provide the Dark Lord with enough information to keep his trust while protecting Potter and providing the Order with all the information he could get.

It was tricky as he also had to avoid becoming too aware of Voldemort's plans, to avoid being held responsible for allowing Harry and his friends to foil them.

So far he handled all this brilliantly, and his every action created no mistrust on the part of Voldemort.

Well he had handled everything brilliantly until the boy had to look inside his Pensieve.

At least he was getting better at Occlumency, but Snape needed to get the boy to hate and mistrust him as much as he used to again or the Dark Lord, would he noticed their connection at last, and he most certainly would at some point if he hasn't already, figure out whose man Severus really was.

He sighed and looked at the headmaster. Albus was of course right and he agreed to distance himself once more, although he wasn't sure if the boy would let him after he had slipped the information about his friendship with Lily.


	6. Chapter 6

A.N. Thanks pfanna for your review. I was struggling with myself because I don't want my characters to act too OOC but you're right, this story is about how knowing who Harry really is would change the course of things and therefore I have to get away from the books at least at some points and with some characters.

About Harry's childhood: I don't think it is bad enough to change anything right now. In many abused Harry stories he get's almost beaten to death or even raped… that's certainly not how I imagine his life with his relatives and removing him now where he is almost 16 and Dudley doesn't bully him anymore wouldn't change much I guess.

Oh and the incident with the Pensieve happened in early April and the incident with the Ministry of Magic doesn't happen until early June – just in case you were wondering as in the books it somehow seems that the "worst memory" thing happened shortly before the end of term.

…

The boy wouldn't let him be, he was sure of that after breakfast in the great hall the next morning. And he wouldn't be able to stay away from him either.

All the while during breakfast the boy had had a pensive look on his face and directed it at him. He looked like he wanted to figure his teacher out and that was probably what it was.

Snape was mad at Dumbledore and didn't talk to him while eating. Of course the headmaster had been right; he couldn't get too close to the boy. And he would do as the headmaster wished. But it wasn't fair. Being alone and mistrusted all the time was hard enough but now that he didn't hate the boy anymore, now that he finally saw some of Lily in him, now that the boy understood him a little – now it was even harder.

Dumbledore had left Harry with Petunia and her magic-hating whale of a husband and he kept Severus isolated and miserable. Usually he didn't care. After all he trusted him and knew that behind all of this, he had a plan. A plan that would eventually lead to the downfall of the Dark Lord and that was his sole reason for living ever since he heard the prophecy.

But still yesterday it had made him angry. He felt like Dumbledore didn't care for anyone if it served the Greater Good; not even the boy-who-lived.

But his irritation with the headmaster was soon forgotten when Draco Malfoy and his friends walked over to the Gryffindor table. That couldn't be good.

He abandoned his unfinished meal and made his way towards said table. But he already had a feeling that he wasn't going to be fast enough. The voices of both parties got louder and they were all standing by now, Potter and Malfoy almost nose to nose.

"…filthy mudblood mother…" was all he could make out from the confrontation before all hell broke loose. Harry jumped on Draco and delivered a punch to his face while his friends and the friends of Draco all raised their wands ready to hex each other.

Snape rushed over to them, silently expelliarmus-ed everyone who had risen their wand and grabbed Harry Potter with one hand and Draco Malfoy with the other.

"What do you two think you are doing?" he hissed. "In my office, now." He glared at the other students who quickly dispersed.

So much for keeping a distance he thought to himself and dragged the two students who glared at each other to his office.

"You two can count yourself lucky that Professor Umbridge had already left the great hall." He snapped. "What were you thinking?" he said not expecting an answer.

He gave Draco a potion and fixed his nose, which had been broken. Neither Snape nor Harry said a word but Draco explained how Harry had started all of this and how he didn't do anything and how his father would hear about this.

"Oh, so I didn't hear you insult Mr. Potter's mother in the worst way possible?" Snape snarled.

Draco's mouth gaped open and Harry, who had been staring at the floor the entire time, looked up. Harry had been sure Snape would believe Draco and he would have to sit in detention for the rest of his life.

Draco didn't respond.

"You should be beyond using expletives like this. You were a shame for Slytherin today."

Harry grinned.

"Pray tell what exactly is so funny Mr. Potter?" Harry's face fell.

"Your behavior has been unacceptable today. I will take 50 points from each of you and you will have detention with me three hours every evening next week."

They both looked at him in shock.

"But that's the Easter holidays." Draco finally said.

"Do I strike you as the kind of person who would actually care? You are dismissed."

Harry quickly left, leaving a flabbergasted Draco behind.

"But… but…" Draco started.

"Speak in full sentences, Draco." Snape referred to him by first name when they were alone as he had been friends with Lucius and Narcissa since school and had seen the boy grow up. He was usually rather fond of the boy but what he had seen in the Pensieve was still too fresh in his memories.

"You never take points from our house! And you never give Slytherins detention in front of others!"

It was true, he didn't. Slytherins lost enough points as it was but he did give his Slytherins detention when they deserved it. Although usually not in front of the other houses.

"And since when do you believe the blasted Potter golden boy more than me?" he asked exasperated.

"I do if he deserves it. I saw you starting this today. I heard what you said. Mr. Potter shouldn't have hit you but your behavior was just as wrong. And I know you have been lying to me Draco."

Snape frowned. He had wanted to talk to Draco about this since he saw what really happened in the Pensieve but not now and not like this.

But now he saw no way around this uncomfortable conversation.

"Running around screaming cuss words was not very Slytherin of you and I am very disappointed." He knew pointing out his disappointment would hit him hard. Being a disappointment in the eyes of his father was one of the blond boy's biggest fears and at some point disappointing him had become equally horrifying. And he was disappointed with the young man. He had become a bully. The little boy he watched growing up had become just like his worst nighmare.

"And I know that all the stories you told me about Mr. Potter have been lies; that he never started any of your confrontations. I don't like being lied to Draco. Especially not if it is you."

Draco gulped. "But… But you always complain about him and…"

"What I do and how I feel towards Mr. Potter are none of your business. I am a teacher at this school and therefore responsible for your behavior. Do not lie to me again. You are dismissed." Snape said in a sharp tone and Draco complied.

"I'm sorry." He muttered and then left. He was mad but he didn't know what to say. The opinion of his favorite teacher and friend of the family mattered to him more than his rivalry with Potter. At least at the moment.

…

Much later that same day, classes were already over, someone knocked at his door and Severus soon found the other troublemaker in the chair in front of him.

"What do you want, Mr. Potter? I won't back down with the detention."

"No, I… I wanted to apologize." Harry sighed. It wasn't easy for him to do this and talk to him, that much Severus could tell. But since when did the boy come to him to talk about these things anyways?

"I have been feeling weird this whole year." Harry continued after he had taken a few deep breaths. "Sometimes I get so angry. Without any real reason. It happened less since I became better with Occlumency but when it does happen it's even worse now… Draco says stuff like that all the time but it never makes me this angry. I tried to occlude but when he said this... I wanted to hurt him really badly. And sometimes I… sometimes I want to hurt Dumbledore as well." He blurted out what had been bothering him for obviously quite some time. "Am I becoming evil? Am I becoming like him?" he asked then.

Snape blinked a few times and stared at the boy. Potter? Evil? He most certainly hadn't expected that.

"No Mr. Potter I can assure you, you are most certainly not becoming evil. This feelings might have something to do with your connection to the Dark Lord." He said. Trying to find a logical explanation for what the boy had said.

Harry thought about this. It would make sense. His mood swings often went together with his dreams and visions but he couldn't distinguish between his own feelings and the feelings of Voldemort most of the times.

"So he is angry?" he asked after thinking about it for a while.

Snape knew he was. Lucius' plan with the Ministry of Magic had yet to show any success. And the Dark Lord was not very patient with his followers.

"Just work on your Occlumency skills and don't worry about this. Try to occlude when you feel feelings that can't possibly be your own and tell me or the headmaster about it."

…

After the boy had left Snape paced through his office. He did that a lot too lately. His thoughts circled around the events of the day.

He hadn't succeeded at distancing himself from the boy much. Quite the opposite actualy.

He had failed Dumbledore.

But then again – didn't he just agree to spy for Dumbledore if he kept Lily save? Well he hadn't kept her save. She was dead. He did everything he did for Lily – and still she was dead. But he had protected the boy ever since he first came to Hogwarts. He risked his life every time the Dark Lord called him and reported back to Dumbledore although Lily had long been dead. Why did he do that? Because he was a good person? Or for Dumbledore? No – he still did it for his Lily. Because she had fought against the Dark Lord. And because Harry was her son.

He trusted Dumbledore and served him as best as he could – but after all this time, he was not Dumbledore's man, he was Lily's.

…

A.N.: Wow I'm surprised I found the time to write this, as it is my last week at university for this semester and last week was full of exams and I still have to write one tomorrow and then I still have to write three term papers… and then in August I'll be off to study abroad for a year so I hope I have the time to finish this fic before my departure.

Snape's loyalty towards Dumbledore is wavering a bit already. We'll see where that leads us…

Hope you enjoyed reading it.


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. Thank you for all the reviews. This will not contain Hermione and Ron bashing, only a little Dumbledore criticizing. But I won't make him evil or anything. Of course Harry still has his memories. I didn't really think how Snape saw them in the first place as I only wanted it to be a one-shot but maybe I'll explain it later in the story.

Read, enjoy and review.

…

It was late Saturday night and Severus Snape was roaming through the halls of Hogwarts. Against all odds there were no students wandering around. Severus would have preferred finding students out of their dormitories – just so he could stop ruminating for a second and have something else on his mind for once. The things he learned about Harry, memories of Lily, the visions of the Dark Lord, the Dark Lord himself and Draco were constantly on his mind and a headache was starting to form inside his head.

He needed to do something. But what could he do?

Draco was on his mind because he might really tell Lucius about his treatment of him and Harry. If he did indeed, he would be lucky if Lucius only came to talk to Severus about this. He would be less lucky if his old friend decided to talk to the Dark Lord about it.

The Dark Lord would eventually learn about the connection. He was a powerful and skilled wizard and by no means stupid. He would figure it out by the end of term and maybe even use it to lure the boy into the Ministry and into a trap. Which was a problem.

An at least for Severus equally troubling problem would arise, if the boy didn't fall for the trap and used Occlumency to keep the Dark Lord out. There was only one person at Hogwarts who could teach the boy this mind magic and the Dark Lord would be more than just unpleased if he found out about it. He might realize that he was keeping things from him and it would mean his demise.

He couldn't possibly talk to Dumbledore about this. This he was sure of.

But he needed to tell someone, anyone. However there weren't too many people he could talk to. The Death Eaters were out of question and so was Harry. Minerva was a possibility. She was the closest to a friend Severus had in his life. But she was too loyal, too trusting, of Dumbledore and would probably not keep this from him.

The Order members were another possibility but they did not trust him. Or did they? Lupin was a skilled member of the Order and cared deeply for Harry's wellbeing. And he had made amends last time they talked.

He didn't feel confident to trust and talk to the wolf again but he decided to contact him Sunday morning anyway as he was painfully aware of his lack of alternatives.

By the time he made it back to his quarters it was nearly midnight. With a plan forming in his mind he fell asleep quickly.

…

The next morning he woke up early and wanted to set his plan into motion but he wasn't sure how to contact Lupin. The wolf had been lucky Umbridge hadn't caught him when he had come to talk to him. The floo was being watched and owling wasn't safe either. Dumbledore could apparate within Hogwarts so he had had no problem coming and going without anyone noticing. Snape could leave the wards of Hogwarts and apparate to Grimmauld Place from there but he wasn't sure how he could get around Black. A patronus was another possibility but Lupin would most certainly recognize his to be the same Lily had. And he didn't look forward to explaining this little detail to the werewolf.

He spent the whole morning thinking about this until he decided to take an unusual approach and call for Kreacher. He knew the house elf wasn't too fond of Black, very loyal to the Dark Lord and the Black sisters Narcissa and Bellatrix and would without a question help one of their fellow Death Eaters. Also the unique magic of house elfs would make it possible for him to apparate to, within and from Hogwarts.

He called for him and gave him a letter that he was supposed to deliver to Lupin. The house elf happily complied, which might have been partly due to Severus indicating this was part of the Dark Lord's plan and would make the Black sisters rather happy.

In the letter he had asked Lupin to meet him in a muggle café close to Grimmauld Place. Hogwarts just wasn't safe enough at the moment.

…

One hour later Snape had made it to the café and was waiting for Lupin. He was wearing muggle clothes to not draw any attention but there were hardly any people around anywhere.

He wasn't sure if the wolf would come. A letter written by Snape and delivered by Kreacher? That wasn't too trust evoking he had to admit.

But ten minutes later the wolf joined him, also wearing muggle attire.

"Severus." He greeted him friendly.

Severus nodded. "Lupin."

They sat down and ordered some coffee. Snape gave him a vial of Wolfsbane potion.

Remus took it thankfully. "What was it you wanted to talk to me about? I'm sure you didn't just order me here to give me this." Lupin began.

Actually Severus had brought the potion in case Remus wouldn't be willing to listen to him.

Now that they were actually having this conversation, however, Severus wasn't too convinced this was a good idea anymore. Telling the other that he was going behind Dumbledore's back would certainly not do him any good. Remus adored that man. Maybe Severus could communicate his proposal omitting his current uncertainness towards the old coot.

"Several things, actually," he started none the less, "mostly about Harry."

If Remus Lupin noticed his sudden use of Harry's first name he didn't show it. But he was listening intently.

Severus decided to address the more pressuring matter first.

"Harry has made immense progress with his Occlumency."

Remus nodded approvingly. "I knew he could do it. And thank you again for continuing to teach him."

Severus chose to ignore the interruption.

"His dreams have become less frequent. But when the connection does overpower his skills, which happened a few times already, I fear it is worse than it was before. He is feeling what the Dark Lord is feeling and attacked a student because he suddenly became immensely angry."

"Poor boy, how is he?" Remus interrupted him again. Snape looked at him but didn't answer at first. "Naturally he got detention." Remus sighed but didn't say anything. "And he worries about… turning evil."

"Maybe you should tell Sirius about this. He is his godfather after all." Remus said after a while.

Snape huffed.

"… or I talk to him." Remus added quickly trying not to upset the man in front of him.

"Do you know why _he_ is angry?" Remus inquired then. He had other questions on his mind too but didn't voice them.

Snape glanced at him with an annoyed expression on his face.

"You and the Order know very well that he is after the prophecy. He ordered Lucius Malfoy to get it. I don't know all the details but obviously he is not making much progress."

Remus nodded and sipped at his coffee.

"I am worried that the Dark Lord will soon discover the connection and use it to lure Harry into the Ministry."

Lupin's face darkened. "This is indeed very worrisome. But why are you confiding in me and not Dumbledore?"

"Dumbledore's influence at the moment is limited. He is not at the school anymore and the Ministry is looking for him. He told me to keep teaching Harry Occlumency but otherwise I am supposed to distance myself from the boy."

Remus nodded in understanding.

"Sooner or later Harry will have a vision and we both know that he will act on it." And even if he didn't his position as a spy would be revealed and his days counted. But he left that unsaid. "We need a plan."

Lupin went over all of this information in his head. There was no way Harry could keep Voldemort out of his head once the dark wizard realized the connection. He might have made a lot of progress but Voldemort could be very manipulative and he was one of the best Legilimens on the planet and Harry's teaching wouldn't be enough to stop him. And he knew that the boy had a tendency to get himself into trouble.

Snape was right, he concluded. They needed a plan. One that kept Harry and Severus alive.

"What kind of plan were you thinking of?" he asked after awhile.

In the last couple of days Severus had thought of various scenarios but had come to the conclusion that involving the Aurors would be their best bet.

"I reckon it would be best if we wait until the Dark Lord notices this connection on his own and tries to use it against us."

Lupin raised an eyebrow at that.

"When Harry has a vision that might lead him there under false circumstances, we will send the Aurors there instead. One of them might use polyjuice potion in order to look like Harry. The Death Eaters won't notice. The Dark Lord will never find out. Harry will be safe and my position as a spy uncompromised." He finished his line of thinking.

Remus contemplated this. Then he nodded. "Death Eaters attacking Harry and the ministry might even be enough to convince Fudge that _he_ is back. This is a brilliant plan Severus. I will tell the Order about it."

"They cannot know that this comes from me. Tell them it was your plan."

A few questions formed in Remus' head at that but he decided to not press the matter. He was sure the man in front of him had his reasons. "Ok. I will not mention your name."

Severus nodded.

"Is there anything else?"

Severus pondered if he should mention Harry's home life situation too. But he wasn't sure if it was the right time. If everything went according to plan, the Ministry would know about the Dark Lord by the end of the school year and Sirius would be given a trial. Then Harry could spend his summer with him and he didn't have to talk about it. He wasn't sure if he could explain why he suddenly wanted the boy to stay with his hated childhood tormentor.

Also he didn't want to talk bad about or with the headmaster anymore than he absolutely had to. He was sure the man had his reasons for leaving Harry at Petunia's… right? Maybe he didn't know how the boy was treated there.

"No, nothing else." he stood up and put some muggle money on the table, enough to pay for him and the unemployed wizard.

"Thank you Severus. For everything. If there is anything else, do not hesitate to contact me again."

Snape looked sceptical but nodded. He then left the café and made his way back to Hogwarts.


End file.
